Building Self-Esteem One Choice at a Time

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Building self-esteem and increasing confidence starts with making the right choices at the right time. When we consistently make productive choices and act on them, we see a boost in our confidence and how we think about ourselves.

No longer do we believe the nonsense that we are not smart enough, attractive enough, or productive enough to get things done. We learn how to set goals and follow through, one choice at a time. Building self-esteem is a natural result of following through.

Building self-esteem and making better decisions

Since our thoughts influence our emotions and behaviors, learning to discern between a poor choice and a beneficial one can help with building self-esteem. We will not always make the right decisions. However, that is a part of life and should be treated as a learning experience.

Try the following tips for building self-esteem and making better choices.

Learn from others’ mistakes

The easiest way to make better choices is to learn from other’s mistakes. If you can learn the lesson from watching others, you can possibly avoid pain and heartache.

For example, if your father was obese due to uncontrollable eating patterns and suffered a heart attack at a young age, you may be at a higher risk of gaining weight and suffering a heart attack or stroke. You may want to learn how to watch your portions and engage in activities that will lower your risk. If you follow in the same footsteps, you might suffer the same fate or worse.

Many people remember the lessons they learned watching their parents and other family members and vow not to repeat those mistakes. However, sometimes these behaviors are ingrained in us and we repeat them anyway, despite our best intentions. A counselor can help you learn to break generational behaviors and addictions.

Learn the lessons from your past choices

Have you ever repeated a decision as if you still have not learned the lesson? We probably all have at one time or another. You may make the same choice if your emotions get in the way of logic, or if you cannot think of a better choice.

For example, you might take back a spouse after they had an affair, only to have them do it again a decade later. Although logic may tell you that this is a behavioral pattern in them, you may allow your feelings for them to override the decision to leave and instead, take them back again.

Try to identify the same type of choices and ask yourself if this is a pattern. Is it a pattern of your behavior or the behavior of someone else? If you make a different choice this time, how will it boost your self-esteem?

Pause and think long-term before making a decision

Before making an impulsive decision or behavior, ask yourself about the long-term consequences.

For example, it might seem like a good idea at the time to cheat on a final exam to earn a certification. However, what would be the long-term consequence? What is the worst thing that could happen? Perhaps the school has a program that tracks the exams and notifies the administration of potential cheating.

What if they disqualify you from the program and do not allow you to earn the certification? What if they report your actions to the next program you apply to? Would the derailment of your dream career be worth cheating on an exam?

You can apply these “worst-case scenarios” to any choice. You may find that a specific choice ends up being in your favor. Perhaps your company offers you a relocation package to a new city. The worst-case scenario is that you are miles away from your family. But, you may weigh the pros and cons and decide that the move will benefit your family far more and you can always make plans to video call and visit your family throughout the year.

Check in with your emotions

Emotions are fickle. When we cannot control our feelings, we may act impulsively and make poor decisions that can lead to lower self-esteem. Before making a monumental decision, take stock of your emotions.

Are you feeling desperate, hurt, sad, or angry? Are you tired or hungry? Is your anxiety calling the shots? It can be difficult to make a proper choice when your emotions seem overwhelming. Instead, reach out to a counselor or close friend and explain the situation. They may be able to help you detach from your emotions to make an informed decision.

Getting help

Do you struggle with your confidence and feelings of self-worth? A counselor at Newport Beach Christian Counseling can help you with building self-esteem, taking control of your behaviors, and defeating intrusive thoughts. Contact our office today to schedule a session with a counselor in Newport Beach, California.

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Burnout, Boundaries, and Balance: Navigating Codependency at Work

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Between deadlines and competing demands, responsibilities at work can destabilize us and cause us to feel overwhelmed when serving the marketplace with our gifts. This may encumber us with an unnecessary burden of responsibility, goading us into codependency at work, trying to save the world and our workplace.

Although there are tasks to manage, codependency at work can tempt us to overcompensate for the actions or inertia of others with personal investments of time and effort we cannot afford. Simply doing more doesn’t make us more productive or effective, but rather strains resolve if we continually extinguish fires outside the realm of our responsibility.

However, when we channel our resources into the pursuits where we are graced by God, we can experience greater fulfillment in the work that we do, individually and with others.

While we may be loosely familiar with how codependency sabotages relationships, its poison can also infiltrate our places of business. Codependency at work prompts us to reach past our colleagues, taking on what is not ours to carry.

It deprives others of responsibility and the opportunity to grow their gifts in the roles they serve on our teams. We may have good intentions, but a codependent desire to control environments and outcomes can actually work against us. It deconstructs the sense of teamwork that causes our places of business to thrive and be fruitful.

Burnout

Furthermore, codependency at work has the potential to produce burnout in us. The lack of boundaries and balance leads us to assume more responsibility than we may be graced to fulfill. Instead of feeling accomplished, codependency at work strains us and multiplies resentment over time, resulting in burnout, decreased productivity, and sometimes an increase in low mood associated with depression.

Thankfully, we can revisit codependency at work by allowing the Holy Spirit to reset our vision concerning our role on a team. Just like the interdependent nature of Christ’s Body has many members, we must celebrate the value of each contributor, realizing that each teammate has a portion of grace, gift, and skill to devote to their realm of responsibility to benefit the whole.

Boundaries

We need God’s wisdom to discern what is ours to own and how to make a distinction between supporting others at work without codependent control. When we ask, the Holy Spirit will help us to release such unnecessary burdens, nurture healthy boundaries, and build better balance in life and work.

We navigate it with the gifts and grace He’s given. His wisdom empowers us to assess and place boundaries around the time and energy we afford to people, projects, or pursuits. The Holy Spirit will reveal practical ways to revise boundaries at work to maximize our successes for God’s glory.

Balance

God has privileged His sons and daughters with the ability to embrace His presence as we form godly decisions. He has also furnished all that we need to thrive in a godly and fulfilling life. Embracing this promise requires balance.

This doesn’t mean that everything in our lives or work gets equal time and attention. Instead, we follow the Spirit’s guidance in stewarding our priorities and resources while releasing others to flourish in the domain where they are assigned.

Help for codependency at work

God is concerned with each aspect of your being. Your work life is not exempt. Where you may have experienced codependency at work, you don’t have to sabotage yourself, your career, or the places where you serve with your gifts.

Help is available, even as you scan this site for resources to overcome codependency at work. Schedule an appointment with a professional counselor at Newport Beach Christian Counseling to support you with recovering from burnout, establishing boundaries, and finding your healthy balance.

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Past Trauma, Present Pain: Embracing the Path to Heal and Overcome

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Fiery trials are commonplace in the lives of believers. No one is immune to feeling the effects as we grow, heal, and change. Like any human, we encounter a range of emotions and experiences that have the potential to shape our worlds. As we consider past trauma that may have negatively influenced our trajectory, traumatic incidents don’t have the power to predict our life outcomes in the way that a Word from God does.

Coming to faith in Christ shifts our destiny to produce eternal impacts. It also enables us to walk out our individual story with the Author and Finisher of our faith, despite the details of past trauma or its present pain. The Lord meets us in sorting through the difficulties that brought us to the present and remedies our soul ailments with His Presence, Power, and Peace.

Presence

Jesus Christ is the Cornerstone that anchors the life of His Body, the collective of followers who have placed faith in Him as Messiah, Healer, and Deliverer (Ephesians 2:19-22). The beauty of the gospel is further revealed as we experience the glory of God shining through our broken places.

Trauma may have seared our hearts and scarred our souls, but none of that is outside of the Savior’s reach. Although the Lord Jesus Himself sympathizes with our grief, pain, and sorrow, He is unwilling to leave us in it (Isaiah 53:3). Here, the Presence of the Lord draws near, imparting us with grace, the supernatural strength to overcome what is humanly impossible and live more fully, as Jesus intended (Psalm 34:18).

Power

Christ came to earth, taking on the frailties of the human experience. He endured every nuance of human suffering, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). The Savior remains our example, that despite the trauma of our past, we endure and overcome by the power of His Blood and the word of our testimony.

We can assert faith, even when we don’t feel it. Jesus’ sacrifice is enough to cover the damages incurred through our traumatic encounters. He will envelop us with grace to walk through the dark places of our healing journey, always accompanied by Him.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4, NIV

Peace

Although we may have lived through excruciating suffering, we must remember that the empowering presence of the Lord lives within. He remains our present help, willing and able to console and guide us through every challenge (Psalm 46:1). The Holy Spirit is at work, even through the least likely journeys, to produce spiritual fruit or lasting evidence of our relationship with Christ (Galatians 5:22; John 15:16).

The Biblical concept of peace is more than the tranquility of healed memories or a feeling of closure, it is associated with having nothing missing, broken, or lacking in our lives. Though trauma has come to steal, the Prince of Peace has come to give us life and restore what we thought was impossible (John 10:10; Isaiah 9:6).

Next steps to overcome past trauma

The Spirit of Christ embodies Jesus’ promise to always be with you, declaring that He would never leave, forsake, or abandon (Hebrews 13:5; Deuteronomy 31:6). Maybe others could not make good on those guarantees, leaving you in a place and position to suffer the unimaginable. However, the Lord’s abiding Presence is neither threatened nor intimidated by what sought to obliterate you.

Search the resources on this site and schedule to meet with a counselor. You will encounter the support and strength needed to overcome past trauma and heal from present pain.

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5 Ideas for Christian Life Coaching

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Christian life coaching can sometimes sound very general. While you may know you want to make changes, it can be hard to know how to do that in a meaningful way. A Christian life coach can help you deepen your faith, overcome challenges, and live a more Christ-centered life.

5 Ways Christian Life Coaching Can Help You

Spiritual growth and discipleship

This focus in Christian life coaching aims to help you grow in your relationship with God. This is done by deepening your understanding of the Bible and developing a more intimate prayer life. Coaching sessions can explore different forms of prayer, offer help for studying Scripture, and discuss how to apply biblical principles to your everyday life.

Identity in Christ

Focusing on your identity in Christ in Christian life coaching revolves around helping you understand and embrace your identity as a child of God. You and your coach may have discussions on self-worth, discovering God’s purpose for your life, and overcoming feelings of inadequacy. This is all done by focusing on a solid foundation in Christ.

Faith and decision-making

Decision-making and walking in faith can leave many people stuck, especially when they face something difficult. Coaching for faith and decision-making will help you align your decisions with your faith and values. This can include guidance in making major life choices, such as career changes, relationships, and lifestyle changes. To accomplish this, you will seek God’s guidance and wisdom through prayer and discernment.

Relationships

Relationships are a core part of who people are and how they go through each day. This Christian life coaching explores how to maintain healthy, Christ-centered relationships with family, friends, and significant others. Coaching sessions can cover topics such as forgiveness, communication, setting boundaries, and navigating conflicts to help you grow in your relationships while upholding Christian principles.

Purpose and mission

Christians often seek a deeper purpose in their life. Coaching for purpose and mission will help you discover and pursue your God-given purpose and mission in life. With your coach, you will explore your unique gifts and talents, how to set goals that align with your purpose, and find ways to serve others so you can make a positive impact in your community.

Finding a Christian life coach

While some people seek out a life coach, it is important to find someone who is appropriately trained to guide you in these areas. A Christian counselor can help you with all of these things. They are trained to discuss sensitive topics as well as share strategies and accountability for change.

As you consider what you need, think about these focus areas. Which ones resonate the most with you? Consider rating each one in terms of importance in your life. Do you need more help understanding your identity or do you need help with your relationships? No matter what you face, a counselor can help.

Your needs and journey are unique. These coaching ideas can be tailored to your specific needs and goals. As you meet with your counselor, you will work together to develop a plan that works for you.

To get started or learn more, our online directory of counselors here at Newport Beach Christian Counseling in California. The Christian counselors in Newport Beach will work with you to develop a therapy schedule that works for you. Christian life coaching aims to help you draw closer to God, live authentically, and fulfill your God-given potential.

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Seeking Help from Symptoms of Chemical Dependency

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Gaining an understanding of chemical dependency and its effects has become important over the past couple of years in America. It is important to know what chemical dependency is, how it starts, and how one can get treatment.

Many families have a loved one who is suffering from chemical dependency. Chemical dependency is a person’s inability to stop using a mind-altering substance or drug because their body has now become dependent on it. This dependence is usually both physical and psychological.

Chemical dependency on a drug or substance is a result of continued use and the body’s ability to assimilate the drug and its tolerance is increased. People can get chemically dependent on narcotics, prescription medication, alcohol, or nicotine.

Because chemical dependency is a complex condition, diagnosing it can be hard. This is why The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) outlines the criteria for a person to be diagnosed.

The more criteria one meets, the more severe their condition as described below:

  • Mild Substance Use Disorder – 2-3 symptoms.
  • Moderate Substance Use Disorder – 4-5 Symptoms.
  • Severe Substance Disorder – 6+ symptoms.

Below are the criteria:

  • Taking the substance in larger amounts or for longer than initially intended.
  • Failing at any attempts to quit or control the amount of use.
  • A significant amount of time spent obtaining, using, or recovering from the substance(s).
  • Cravings or strong desires to use substances.
  • Inability to meet one’s responsibilities at home, work, or school as a result of drug use.
  • Continued use despite social or interpersonal problems.
  • Giving up or reducing social, occupational, or recreational activities because of substance use.
  • Recurrent use in physically hazardous situations (such as drinking and driving).
  • Continued use despite health or psychological problems caused by or exacerbated by substance use.
  • Increased tolerance.
  • Development of withdrawal symptoms resulting in the need to take the drug or substance.

It is important to note that diagnosis of substance use disorder can only be done by a licensed professional and a person should not self-diagnose.

Why it’s important to seek help for chemical dependency?

Its complexity

Chemical dependence can be so severe that one can’t get clean on their own without the help of trained professionals. These people have a deeper understanding of how different substances interact with our bodies and minds and can come up with an effective treatment plan.

Multi-disciplinary team

Chemical dependency affects many aspects of a person’s functioning. Seeking help will ensure that all areas are given attention and assessed. This could be a person’s mental health, physical health, or relational wellness. Treatment centers work with experts in different fields to offer comprehensive support.

It is life-threatening

Dependency on substances can lead to serious medical issues that can contribute to health complications that unfortunately sometimes lead to death.

Renewed hope

When a person seeks help it shows that they have hope that their situation will improve. Taking that first step is important as it opens a door to recovery and a more fulfilling life.

Restored Relationships

Our strength and quality of life come from the relationships we have. When one seeks help, they communicate to their loved ones that they are willing to be better. This gives way to renewed trust and relationship rebuilding.

We can help

If your life has taken an unexpected turn as a result of substance use and you are looking for help, contact our office today. At Newport Beach Christian Counseling, we have trained counselors who can offer you the help you need.

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ADHD and Anger: What’s the Relationship?

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Anger is something we all feel and experience from time to time. Our response to it differs from person to person and depends on the situation. It is not necessarily wrong to feel angry. While most people might have the ability to respond to anger in healthy and appropriate ways, those struggling with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have a harder time. Though not everyone experiences ADHD and anger concurrently, it is common.

Signs of ADHD and anger

  • Impatience.
  • Angry outburst.
  • Tantrums in children.
  • Irritability.
  • Lack of emotional regulation.
  • Defiant behavior.
  • Mood swings.
  • Relationship difficulties.

What can cause anger in people with ADHD?

For people with ADHD, anger can be experienced more intensely and thus interfere with day-to-day living. This is why it is important to understand the relationship between anger and ADHD as understanding aids in empowering those who struggle with it to minimize its impact on normal life.

Poor impulse control.

Executive functioning is responsible for skills like problem-solving, planning, and the brain’s ability to regulate emotions. The executive functioning of people who struggle with ADHD has been weakened resulting in their inability to self-regulate when triggered. This results in angry outbursts/temper tantrums or disproportionate emotional responses to situations.

Medication.

For those that have been put on medication as one of the ways to treat ADHD, sometimes the medication might have side effects that can cause high levels of irritability resulting in anger. An example is stimulants given to children.

Frustration.

People with ADHD can suffer from constant frustration, especially if they have hyperactivity symptoms. Anything that hinders them from quickly moving on to the next thing can be highly frustrating, like standing in a line that’s seemingly not moving and this can lead to anger. They have a low tolerance for boredom.

Impulsivity.

Most people who struggle with ADHD also struggle with impulsivity. This is taking action or reacting without thinking through consequences. Their anger comes as a result of not being able to take a step back yet again and suffering through the consequences.

Dealing with symptoms.

ADHD comes with a myriad of symptoms that make life difficult. This inability to function normally can be a huge strain and thus cause individuals to be angry with their situation and impatient with recovery.

Other comorbidities.

Most patients diagnosed with ADHD have co-existing conditions they have to contend with. These conditions could vary from mood disorders, anxiety disorders, depression, or behavioral disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Any of these co-existing conditions can exacerbate feelings of frustration and anger.

Relationship difficulties.

ADHD can impair how someone relates to the world around them and how they relate to society in general. Relationship difficulties can also provoke anger in those who struggle with ADHD since they also struggle with conflict management skills, empathy, or emotional stability, all of which are important for building and maintaining relationships. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and rejection, which can cause anger and depression.

Stress and anxiety.

Having ADHD while trying to live life can be stressful and anxiety-inducing, This means that one is always on edge and easily irritated or triggered by the slightest inconvenience.

ADHD can also sometimes interfere with someone’s ability to plan and manage time. This means that they constantly miss deadlines which can be frustrating. They become angry with themselves and sometimes lash out.

Low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem for those struggling with ADHD can be due to feelings of rejection that are a result of difficulties in building relationships. In children, their inability to keep up with children of the same age as a result of their condition can contribute to them looking down on themselves. Feeling trapped by something they feel disempowered to control or change can be a source of frustration and anger.

Anger management for those with ADHD

As mentioned earlier, not everyone who has ADHD struggles with anger. However, for those who do, there is hope. There are treatment methods or a combination of treatments that can assist those who struggle with anger as a result of ADHD. Below are some examples:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
  • Medication.
  • Anger management classes.
  • Social skills therapy.
  • Individual counseling.
  • Behavioral therapy.
  • Support groups.
  • Parental and teacher training (for support).

Next steps

ADHD is a condition that can be treated and managed with the right help. If you suspect that you or someone you love might be struggling with it and need help, do get in touch with us at Newport Beach Christian Counseling. We have trained therapists and counselors who can help you start this journey.

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What the Bible Says about Change

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Life is not stagnant; it is full of change. Throughout your life, you will have different jobs, churches, houses, cars, and relationships. There will be changes you choose to make as well as changes that are outside of your control.

Learning to develop a healthy mindset around change can help prevent anxiety around changes in your life. Holding fast to the truth will help you work through change trusting in God. Here are Bible verses that can help you through life’s changes.

God is constant

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever. – Isaiah 40:8, NIV

God promises that he will not change the way that everything else in the world changes. As the Creator of the world, he is outside of the limitations that exist within the world. No change is beyond his scope.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. – Deuteronomy 7:9, NIV

God exists outside of time. He sees the bigger picture that we cannot see. Marveling at the greatness of God is a practical way to practice trusting that he cares for you.

Hold plans loosely

​​To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. – Proverbs 16:1-3, NIV

You can make all kinds of plans, but there is no guarantee that they will succeed. Make a practice of entrusting your plans to God and seeking him in prayer when you make plans.

You may be called to enact change

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” – Esther 4:14, NIV

There may be things in the world that you want to see changed, and God may be calling you to start the process of change. To enact justice, and care for the needs of the community, you may need to lead the change for good. Hopefully, you will not be under the threat of death that Esther was. Look to her for inspiration to stand up for what is right, even when things seem scary.

You may need to change your mind

Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.” “Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.” The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”

This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven. Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right. – Acts 10:14-16, 34-35, NIV

Peter was a devout Jewish man. Yet after witnessing the death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ, he was required to change his mind about a lot of religious rules with which he grew up. We sometimes need to make similar changes about our beliefs.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:20-24, NIV

Living life with God is living a life called to change. You are changing the habits of contempt, cruelty, and selfishness, for a life of compassion, generosity, and humility.

The change that happens within your heart and mind is slow, and you may not see the results you desire as quickly as you would like. Yet over time, God promises ”that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6, NIV)

If you need additional help navigating life’s changes, consult with a compassionate Christian counselor in Newport Beach, California today.

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Caregivers and Caregiver Support

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There are two groups of caregivers that are typically used to help those with medical needs navigate certain activities of life. One group is unpaid and typically refers to those who are family members or a friend of the person receiving the care. The other group consists of those who are paid by a company to provide care in the home. This second group can also include those who provide care in long-term facilities.

Each of these groups can experience tough situations that can cause anxiety, depression, or other physical, mental, and emotional strains. Most of the caregivers become attached to the person they care for, which can cause added emotions. When it comes to caring for family, people need to have access to caregiver support.

Common issues faced by caregivers

There are common issues that most caregivers face and can present themselves at any time. Whether the caregiver is male or female, the issues remain the same.

Stress: It is common for stress to manifest itself when you have been a caregiver for any amount of time. It’s not necessarily the amount of time, it’s the weight of the situation that brings about feeling as though you are exhausted.

Isolation: Being a caregiver means that you spend less time participating in activities that you enjoy and more time in your role. This can cause you to feel as though you no longer have friends. There are times that you may feel like no one understands.

Anxiety: Sometimes it may seem as though the worries of caregivers increase. It could stem from having doubts about doing everything the right way for the person you are caring for.

Frustration: Due to the anxiety and feeling like you are alone in the entire endeavor, frustration can become an issue. You may find that you are testy and quick to become angry over small things.

Guilt: Being a family member who is taking care of a family member can make room for guilt to play a part in the anxiety you feel. You begin to think you are selfish because you want to take a day off and enjoy yourself.

Exhaustion: Being a caregiver day after day can leave you feeling like you have no energy to take care of yourself. You may find that you are so exhausted you have difficulty sleeping.

Depression: Taking care of a family member can bring you to a place of depression. You feel as though you aren’t doing things correctly. Sometimes you feel like crying.

Burnout: After being in the caregiver role for so long you could be facing burnout. You get the feeling that you are going through the motions and not making any difference.

Physical health issues: You may find yourself facing various kinds of physical issues. Headaches, stomach issues, blood pressure, fatigue, and a weakened immune system can be a few of the issues that arise from the stress of taking care of someone.

Substance abuse: It may have started as a way to unwind after a tough day of caring for a person, but it leads to dependency. Trying to get away from the situation through alcohol or other substance only causes more issues.

How to support a caregiver

Learning how to support a family member or friend who is in the role of caregiver is something that will help them and the person they care for. Everyone who cares for a person with medical needs should have access to caregiver support. Whether it is online counseling or someone who stops by to visit and encourage.

Take time to listen to them when they express that they just need someone to talk to. They aren’t necessarily looking for answers, they just need a connection with someone willing to listen. Let them define what they need. This could give you an idea of how to help them. Maybe they just need a break long enough to shower or nap. Sometimes a simple card of encouragement will create a new outlook.

Letting the caregiver know that you are there to help in any way will give them a sense of value. Make sure that they have access to caregiver support programs in the area.

And let’s consider how to encourage one another in love and good deeds. – Hebrews 10:24, NASB

If you find that you or someone you know needs caregiver support, reach out to us at Newport Beach Christian Counseling. There are many Christian counselors in Newport Beach who can help you find the support you need while you care for your family or friend.

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Small Steps, Big Impacts: Goal Setting, Micro Habits, and Personal Development

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Nowadays, it isn’t difficult to search any social media outlet and find others splaying hashtags and markers for personal development. It isn’t limited to resolutions that populate many timelines around the start of the year, but rather throughout. We want progress, and we want to note it in all the areas that we value: relationships, health, and careers.

It becomes easy to lose ourselves in an addictive stupor, scrolling other people’s pages and profiles. Subconsciously, we compare ourselves with a perceived ideal God never intended for us to idolize, but rather encounter inspiration for attaining our own goals.

Emotion can become overwhelming as we scan our own lives and sometimes feel that we’ve come up short. We may not be concerned with outpacing our neighbors’ particular goals, but rather, champion and celebrate their achievements. Yet, when we seem to be stalled with progress toward our aims, the unspoken comparison may trigger undeniable pain.

Even if we don’t share the aspirations of those in our social circles, we sometimes encounter frustration from comparing ourselves where we are now with where we had imagined our own lives to be at this point and our personal development.

Small beginnings

The big result isn’t always seen in the major move. Biblically, the narrative of small unveils the miraculous in both testaments. Small beginnings brim with possibility, as God Himself commits to oversee the good that He’s begun in us (Zechariah 4:10; Philippians 1:6).

The Spirit of God multiplies our minimal resources, adding up to more than we could produce on our own. We encounter the result in more than our senses or perception would have imagined (1 Corinthians 2:9).

What is impossible comes to fruition, and it originates through the miracle of small. A handful of flour and oil sustained the widow of Zarephath until drought and famine passed over (1 Kings 17:14-16). Mustard seed faith uproots and displaces mountains (Matthew 17:20-21).

A couple of fish and a handful of bread catered lunch for thousands on a hillside (Mark 6:41-44). So, it follows in our lives; The Holy Spirit involves us in miracles that manifest before our eyes and often through the little that becomes much in the Master’s Hands.

Goal setting

When we develop SMART goals, we do so around the following: garner the specifics of what we intend to accomplish, narrow our attention on clear objectives; measure our progress; and assess and ensure that they are attainable within a certain amount of time. Ideally, the goals we establish are relevant, aligning with our longer-term goals, and are reasonable for the time frame we have identified.

We must individualize and find a system that works personally. SMART goals are intended to support us in attaining what can feel unmanageable.

Our lives are unique; hence, our goal-setting will be personally relevant to the Father’s times and purposes for each of us. God created us as individual masterpieces, predetermined to be fulfilled in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). We won’t look identical, regardless of how much we have in common or overlap in compatible and complementary gifts and abilities.

We are on a distinct path with the Lord and cannot try to emulate someone else’s process. Embracing inspiration is valuable, but we only need to aspire to our Savior’s standard when setting goals that align with the vision for our personal development.

While the process of working toward a goal can present inherent frustrations, we must remind ourselves that God will grant grace and glory, promising to withhold nothing good (Psalm 84:11). Our timeline may not mirror that of others, nor should it.

We can recalibrate our hopes, and even anchor our failures in the Lord, recognizing that He repurposes our missteps and mistakes to draw our hearts to repent or turn to Him. The Holy Spirit is at work, developing spiritual fruit and illuminating our path with the abundance of essential wisdom and revelation. We can take courage, aligning our plans with Scriptural principles to lead into the divine destiny God has orchestrated.

Micro habits

Goal-setting is a familiar topic within the realm of personal development, but micro habits present a fresh way to think about this timeless concept. Micro habits deconstruct massive endeavors into smaller, more digestible parts.

In goal setting, we zoom wide to view a broad angle of what we seek to accomplish. To achieve it, we fill in segments of our big picture with zoomed-in, small-picture steps. In short, micro-habits embrace the practice of doing a little of a particular action at a time, yet sustained over time to reach a larger goal.

Forming a micro habit relies on simple daily actions that are relatively easy to implement into an established routine and may require, at most, a few minutes of time.  We contribute to our larger goal, yet with concentrated and consistent investment.

Success with micro habits is anchored in how we perceive our worth and willingness to show up for ourselves with rhythm and regularity that transforms our efforts into an offering that God blesses in the work of our hands. Our consistency invokes the questions for our consideration. Do we value what God has placed in us? And will we partner with Him to see it to fruition?

Micro habits toggle our attention between the vision for what we are building and its actual layout and placement in the structure of our daily lives. They allow us to draw a blueprint, designing a life enriched with the peace of God and joy of the Lord and the action that follows our faith.

We cannot control everything, including inevitable setbacks bound to populate our journey. However, micro habits teach us to navigate failures that are an unavoidable part of any success. Micro habits allow us to recover with curiosity and resolve, yet without shame so we can resume progress with relative ease. They encourage resilience, reminding us that even when we’ve fallen, we can embrace both human and Holy Spirit help to get up and go forward.

Personal development

Embracing micro habits affords us the joy that accompanies small wins, thus replenishing necessary strength in our personal development journey. We will meet challenges, but the outcomes we desire generally result from consistency versus large-scale, though sporadic actions.

Consistency, even in small steps, shapes both our character and view of our goal. Even when we’ve failed, God moves mightily and decisively through minuscule actions to shift what He desires into being. When all looks dark, our joint investments with the Holy Spirit, produce unfathomable results (Ephesians 3:20).

While belief gives rise to behavior, our actions redefine what we have believed about ourselves. Enacting micro habits outweighs the large, though inconsistent moves that make a grand appearance when we’re inspired. Inspiration is an exhilarating companion for the journey, but we can’t rely on it exclusively to navigate our course. Unfortunately, inspiration gets clouded by discouragement and obstacles.

We can, however, gather inspiration from practicing the micro-habits that are not only shifting our world in the behavioral realm but also having an impact on the internal world of our thoughts and emotions. When we recognize that our beliefs and behavior positively reinforce one another, we can mobilize this to generate changes and form goals in other areas that impact our personal development.

Next steps for personal development

Although the process of setting and achieving a goal is met with challenges and rewards, you can embrace both strategy and system to support you with this important facet of personal development. Micro habits prove themselves, not only in yielding the desired goal but also in fueling the endurance and affirming confidence to sustain your personal development journey.

Wherever you may find yourself in the process, embrace the opportunity to seek and select a counselor on this site. Make your appointment today. Embrace the empathy and tools you need to make small steps that yield a big impact.

Photos:
“Start”, Courtesy of Geralt, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Set Goals”, Courtesy of Geralt, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Never Give Up”, Courtesy of Geralt, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Goals”, Courtesy of Ronnie Overgoor, Unsplash.com, CC0 License

How to Overcome Anxiety with Scripture

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You are not alone if you are struggling with anxiety. But you can use Scripture to overcome anxiety and have greater peace. These Bible verses that deal with anxiety can help you when you feel triggered or stressed.

Each time you are worried or anxious, choose one of these verses to meditate upon deeply and apply to your situation. Turn it into a prayer to gain a deeper connection with God. Here are several verses to give you practical help.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. – Psalm 139:23, NIV

Since God knows everything, he knows everything that causes you anxiety. He knows you better than you know yourself. When you ask him to search, know, and test you, he will help you deal with hidden thoughts.

Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up. – Proverbs 12:25, CSV

Anxiety can feel heavy like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. But God doesn’t expect or want you to do this, because only He can handle all your problems. Seek funny or humorous videos or books that can lift your heart when you feel anxious.

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul. – Psalm 95:19, NKJV

You may notice that anxieties can multiply quickly. Whether your anxieties are based on reality or fiction, God will comfort you in them. He is a loving Father who will cuddle you in a warm embrace, calming your fears and removing your doubts with his promises that never change.

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7, NIV

In the same way that you cast a fishing line away from you, so you need to throw your worries onto God and away from yourself. Keep this word picture in your mind and put it into practice next time you are worried or anxious.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7, NLT

When we experience worry, it is an opportunity to pray. Tell God exactly what is causing you anxiety. Ask Him for practical and spiritual encouragement. Then express gratitude, remembering all the ways He has been faithful to you in the past.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. – Isaiah 26:3, NIV

God promises to give you perfect peace when you abandon your anxiety and trust in Him.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13, NIV

God wants you to be filled with hope, peace, and joy rather than anxiety. The Holy Spirit can give you these spiritual gifts to protect your heart and mind. Praying this Scripture daily will help you trust God more even when your anxiety is triggered.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. – Colossians 3:15, NIV

You can choose peace each time your anxiety rises by asking God to help you. Ask God to take anxiety from your heart, and invite Jesus, who is the Prince of Peace, to take its place.

Christian counseling to overcome anxiety.

If you haven’t been able to overcome your anxiety before, you may benefit from speaking with a Christian counselor. A qualified counselor can help you identify the deepest roots of your anxiety, so you can remove them and choose a life of greater peace.

You can use these Bible verses on anxiety in moments of stress. But please don’t hesitate to get professional help from a Christian counselor that is customized for your unique needs. The counselors on our staff are ready to help you overcome your anxiety with biblical principles.

Reach out to us today to schedule your first appointment. We have helped many others manage and overcome anxiety with practical help and spiritual guidance, which we would love to offer to you as well.

Photos:
“Lamp at Dusk”, Courtesy of Oleksandr Pidvalnyi, Pexels.com, CC0 License;”Streetlamp”, Courtesy of Chris Knight, Unsplash.com, CC0 License