Christian Counseling for Infidelity Recovery
The impact of infidelity on marriage can’t be overestimated. It undermines the very foundation of the relationship. It may lead to a sense of despair in which restoration seem hopeless.
At Newport Beach Christian Counseling, we have worked with many couples who have experienced the devastation of an affair. We want to offer you the hope that restoration is possible. A marriage that is rebuilt on the foundation of Jesus Christ can be healed, and often becomes stronger in the end.
If your marriage has been shaken by the unfaithfulness of one or both spouses, please reach out to one of our Christian infidelity recover counselors. You can contact us at (949) 668-0335.
How to Recover from Infidelity
What God has joined together, let no one separate. – Mark 19:9
When you got married, you probably thought neither of you would ever have an affair. After all, you were making serious vows to remain exclusively committed to one another for life.It’s an unfortunate truth that infidelity wreaks havoc in far too many marriages.
Almost 25% of couples will experience it at some point.But this statistic and even the reality of infidelity don’t have to mean a death sentence for a marriage. It is possible for a marriage to survive the heartbreak of an affair.
The counselors at Newport Beach Christian Counseling have worked with couples who thought their marriage might be beyond healing. Often, we’ve seen healing take place by God’s grace, and have been able to rejoice in a marriage restored with hope for the future.
The word infidelity can encompass a variety of behaviors, from emotional affairs to inappropriate text messages to kissing to sexual intercourse and more. We can debate about whether an action does or does not constitute cheating, but regardless, most people know when they’ve crossed a boundary.
As they continue to cross boundaries over time, the unfaithful spouse will hide the details of their extramarital relationship from their partner. Bringing this sin into the light is the first step to healing. The second crucial step is acknowledging that it was wrong without making excuses. Infidelity is never justified.
If honesty and confession are there, it’s possible for the rebuilding process to start. Loyalty, trust, and commitment must be cultivated in order for a marriage to heal.
Why People Have Affairs
If you are the spouse who was cheated on, you’ve experienced shock anddenial, and wondered how in the world this could have happened. Some spouses have seen the warning signs, while others are blindsided. Either way, your partner’s motivation for cheating can seem unfathomable.
Maybe you’ve blamed yourself for their infidelity, thinking that if you could’ve been a better spouse, they wouldn’t have had an affair. But there are many motives for someone to commit adultery, including but not limited to:
- A platonic friendship that turns sexual.
- An emotionally distant marriage.
- Persistent, unresolved marital conflict.
- A social environment that makes infidelity seem normal and acceptable.
- Sex or love addiction.
- Unfulfilled sexual needs.
If you’re seeking infidelity recovery for your marriage, there has to be a willingness on the part of both spouses to discuss the affair honestly and openly. And the best way to start is by figuring out what led to it in the first place.
Understanding what happened can help the betrayed spouse begin to heal. Meanwhile, the involved spouse has the opportunity to explain what happened from his or her perspective and can begin to identify the underlying emotional issues that contributed to it.
These conversations may be necessary, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy. In fact, it can be almost impossible to have them without a moderator. When you get Christian counseling for infidelity recovery, you’ll have a safe place to talk about these sensitive topics.
Is There Hope After Infidelity?
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. – Psalm 55:22
The severe wounds caused by an affair won’t be healed by surface-level solutions, but it is possible to experience genuine healing if both spouses are willing to make the effort. Saving a marriage affected by infidelity is difficult but not impossible.
Christian counseling seeks to provide support and tools for healing through the strength found in Christ. The reward of traveling this difficult road will be greater than you can imagine at the moment.
You might be surprised to discover that most couples affected by an affair stay married. Many times, the recovery process makes their commitment much stronger than it was before.
Standing in the ashes of adultery, this kind of recovery might seem impossible. But sometimes it takes experiencing a crisis for a marriage to be truly renewed and rebuilt from the ground up.
Can Counseling Save My Marriage?
At Newport Beach Christian Counseling, we’ve been blessed enough to witness many couples walking through the journey of infidelity recovery, and coming out on the other side stronger.
A common story we hear is that a couple tried to work through infidelity recovery on their own, but they kept hitting roadblocks in communication. Professional Christian counseling can be a lifesaver when you’re trying to work through such a painful topic and resolve the pain and trust issues that come with it.
Our Faith-Based Counseling Approach
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26
As an organization of faith-based counselors, we at Newport Beach Christian Counseling are confident in the truth of God’s promises. We wholeheartedly believe that God can take any broken situation and do what seems impossible – not only can He restore gaping crevasses, but He can make the bond even stronger than it was before.
With our holistic approach to marriage wellness, we offer healing that goes beyond what can be offered in secular counseling groups. Through faith in Christ and Bible-based tools for healthy marriages, Newport Beach Christian Counseling has seen couples through the direst of situations.
Newport Beach Christian Counseling wants to help facilitate marriage wellness after infidelity. We approach the counseling process holistically, addressing spiritual, emotional, and relation healing. This goes beyond what a secular approach can offer.
What Will Infidelity Counseling Be Like?
The counseling process will be different from each couple, but the overall approach is very similar to counseling for trauma recovery. It’s important to realize that a betrayed spouse can suffer from symptoms of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). We work from this painful reality in our approach.
The aftermath of an affair involves fear and lack of trust. For the marriage to recover, it’s absolutely essential that both partners are fully committed to truth and openness. Eventually, trust can be rebuilt, and we believe this is more likely in the context of compassionate, trained counseling.
I Don’t Know If I Can Ever Trust Again
When someone commits adultery, one of the worst effects is the shattering of the betrayed spouse’s trust. The covenant of marriage is built on trust. When we take vows, we are acknowledging that we cannot control the other person, so we are trusting them to fulfill their vows of faithfulness while we fulfill ours.
An affair takes this trust and destroys it, resulting in overwhelming pain and insecurity for the betrayed spouse. Repairing this damage can take years of dedication and honesty. Christian counseling is a place to find a fresh start for this journey.
The process of rebuilding trust after an affair includes:
- Accountability – No matter the circumstances, adultery is never justified. For the marriage to heal, the spouse who was unfaithful has to accept accountability and seek to deeply understand the pain they caused their partner.
- Willingness to risk hurt – In order to recover, the betrayed spouse has to be willing to rebuild trust. This involves taking a huge risk after such a devastating betrayal. It means opening yourself up to the possibility of another betrayal and more pain. If a betrayed spouse is willing to do this, their pain and fear can diminish over time as their partner works to rebuild their trust.
- Asking and answering questions – The involved spouse needs to be willing to discuss what happened and answer any questions about it, while the betrayed spouse can learn healthy questions to ask that avoid destructive approaches.
- Setting realistic expectations – It’s very important to understand that recovery, forgiveness, and healing are all part of a process, and it’s not a linear progression. More details can surface along the way, reopening the wound, and grieving the brokenness of the relationship can cause emotional ups and downs. The big picture is what matters. Another aspect of adjusting expectations can be for the involved spouse, who may need to realize that unrealistic expectations for marriage are part of what led to the affair to begin with.
- Forgiveness – Through Christian counseling for infidelity recovery, we hope to see both spouses forgive one another and move toward reconciliation of the marriage relationship.
The journey ahead may seem long and daunting. We agree that the commitment to restoring broken bonds can be a tedious process – but we wholeheartedly believe that it is worth it and that God is able. At Newport Beach Christian Counseling, we are here to offer faith and hope for the redemption and healing of your relationship.
When you look at your future right now, the process of marriage recovery might seem long and daunting. The trained counselors at Newport Beach Christian Counseling want to offer the hope that your marriage can be restored – but more than that, we want to assure you that it is worth it and that we can be here to walk alongside you.