4 Common Challenges of Teenagers
There is no doubt that raising teenagers can be extremely challenging. Hormones, significant life changes, and a fair dose of sassy attitude can cause parents to despair as they attempt to healthily discipline their fast-growing kids. In this article, we’ll discuss four of the most common challenges of teenagers to help parents prepare and empathize with their teens.
Though this stage of life may be a distant memory for you personally, it is important to be empathetic to your kids as they navigate through this often confusing and emotionally-charged period of their lives and face some of the common challenges of teenagers.
Being a teenager has always been pretty tough, of that there is no doubt! However, hitting the high school years is full of challenges for teenagers — with social media, image-obsessed modern culture, and complex friendship and relationship dynamics and pressures, it really is a minefield out there!
So, with all that in mind, parents of teenagers certainly need some additional support when it comes to dealing with their kids effectively and in a way that is going to nurture and support them through these often troubling days.
Facing Common Challenges of Teenagers
Tackling issues head on is one of the first things you commit to doing. However, you must be aware of what you are dealing with. So let’s take a look at some of the key obstacles and challenges of teenagers today, and explore how parents can assist their kids in successfully working through them!
Social media struggles
Over the past decade, social media has proliferated across the teenage demographic. Nowadays, it is extremely rare to come across a teen who has withdrawn themselves from Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. As such, the pressures to present a certain image have spiraled out of control.
The purpose of social media is to connect people with each other. Instagram, for example, gives us a view into the lives of others and offers the opportunity to share significant experiences with loved ones. However, it can also cause fierce comparison and body image issues.
With celebrities garnering several million followers and uploading a stream of glamorous selfies, it only follows that impressionable young teenagers will attempt to emulate their icons and, inevitably, feel inferior as a result.
Social media is very rarely an accurate representation of the person’s real life, and yet, teenagers may fall victim to thinking that they must live up to a particular image or look. This striving can cause deeply-rooted issues.
In addition, social media perpetuates another unpleasant issue — cyber bullying. With private messages open, and with anyone open to comment on your appearance, bullying is a common and corrosive issue among this age group.
As with any of these social tools, they can be both a blessing and a curse. The key for parents is to ensure that there is no secrecy about what is going on within their social media accounts. Keep the lines of communication open and ensure that your child feels comfortable to disclose any strange or nasty things taking place on their social media profiles.
Substance use
It is not uncommon for teenagers to experiment with various substances during their high school years. While this can be a serious concern, it is important to highlight that this usage may be for a number of different reasons, such as peer pressure, curiosity, or even as a way of self-medicating an undiagnosed mental health condition like depression.
While minor usage might be harmless, with the wide variety of dangerous drugs available today, it is important to keep a handle on what your teenager is getting up to. Anyone, no matter how young, is at risk of falling into addiction after experimenting with drugs.
In addition, due to the fact that a teenager’s brain has not fully developed, addiction and the impact of psychoactive substances can be extremely harmful and detrimental to healthy growth and cognitive development.
Drugs that are often prevalent among teenagers include marijuana, alcohol, nicotine (cigarettes, e-cigarettes/vapes, cigars), synthetic marijuana (sometimes known as Spice), prescription drugs, hallucinogens, and inhalants.
All of these, if taken regularly, can drastically alter the mental state of teenagers and may hamper their school work, impede their relationship building and even get them into legal trouble. Due to the serious nature of drug and alcohol abuse, it is of vital importance that you talk openly with your teenager about how they can, with confidence, say “no” to these harmful substances.
Self-exploration
The adolescent years can be extremely confusing, as you are met with deep questions over purpose and identity. What are you going to do after finishing school? Who are the friends that will stick by you? What is the true meaning of your life?
Obviously, these are expansive questions that need a great amount of thought. However, as is often the case among teenagers, it can be common to see a “mask” being worn as a protection against this scary and uncertain outside world. With all that teenagers face, and with peer pressure and social judgement a perpetual threat, it is incredibly difficult for young people to show their true colors. Instead, hiding behind a mask and taking on a particular persona becomes very common.
With so much energy being spent on keeping up appearances, teenagers can experience deep exhaustion from attempting to present as a particular type of person. There is so much pressure on kids these days, with competitive sports teams, social media comparisons and often wildly unrealistic academic expectations.
It can be absolutely overwhelming, and parents must be constantly aware of the mental state of their teen as a result. It is important that parents reassure their kids that while striving for excellence can be a wonderful thing, it is not the ultimate goal. Parents must ensure that their teenagers know that first and foremost, and ahead of all the academic and sporting targets and pressures, they are simply loved unconditionally.
Sexual curiosity
As kids grow into teenagers, the whole area of sex becomes an issue that must be approached with sensitivity and caution. Naturally, they will be curious about this significant part of the human experience. As such, parents should always ensure that their teenager feels comfortable talking about the subject as they see fit.
Dating and all that this entails may also become a significant factor in your teenager’s life. Again, it is important to show unwavering support in the face of many questions your child may have regarding the emotional aspects of entering into a romantic relationship with another person.
Of course, in a Christian home, it is important to open up discussion over abstinence and sex before marriage. In addition, and in light of social media pressures, it is crucial to address issues of photo sharing and inappropriate 
messaging.
Teens should feel empowered to say “no,” and parents must play a pivotal role in making sure that their children know this. Too often, sexual encounters become common among teenagers and are put forward as a social norm.
It is important that parents make it clear to their kids that they are not “weird” if they choose to abstain from sexual activity – in fact, it is quite the opposite! Teenagers who show restraint from getting involved in potentially harmful behavior are wise beyond their years, are saving much future heartbreak, and must be encouraged.
Too often, sexual relations among teenagers are related to low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth. Youngsters regularly enter into a sexual relationship because they believe this will help them feel as if they truly belong.
This is a tragic thing that must be addressed with your teenager. Above all, ensure that your child knows that they are loved unconditionally and that they are not to feel any pressure to get involved in anything of a sexual nature with their peers.
Christian Counseling for Teens
As you can see, teenagers today face a plethora of complex issues, both relational and emotional. Parenting at this stage, therefore, is never going to be easy. It is of vital importance that parents remember to encourage and validate their teen. Of course, there will be times where correction and discipline are essential, but this must be administered alongside an outward expression of love and care.
If your teenager feels empowered to make good decisions that might even make them unpopular among some of their friends, they will set themselves in good stead for the future.
While not every conversation will be easy and comfortable, it is crucial that you create a home environment for your child that is safe, secure and open — make sure they know that your door is always open and that they can talk to you about absolutely anything.
Of course, this isn’t always possible, and sometimes you will need assistance in dealing effectively with the emotional complexities that your teenager might be facing.
If this is the case, a trained professional may be of huge help in opening up the lines of communication between you and your child. They will be able to assist you in developing a safe space for your son or daughter to open up about their feelings, process emotions, and navigate the way ahead through these common challenges of teenagers.
Lastly, if your teenager is going through a particularly difficult time, make sure that you remind them that it will not last forever. There is always a hope and a future for them. Of this, you can be sure.
“Friends in a Field”, Courtesy of Melissa Askew, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Marijuana”, Courtesy of Rick Proctor, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Angst”, Courtesy of Graham Wizardo, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Strong,” courtesy of Christopher Campbell, unsplash.com, CC0 License
Many people claim that they are “aware” about the use of therapy for mental illnesses. In fact, on both the big and small screens, characters are often shown visiting a therapist to assist them with their mental or emotional issues.
Therapy, however, is meant to be a venue where a person CAN share these inner thoughts, fears, and desires without being judged, ridiculed, or exposed. Professional therapists know this and approach each situation with an open mind, giving unbiased advice on what to do. As they are not personally involved, it is sometimes even easier for them to notice things that family members and friends cannot see; or share the advice that loved ones with vested interests do not want to say.
Most people are not happy about always being told what to do, especially when one has invested much time and money into something. This is another reason why some shun the idea of therapy as they believe that in therapy they will simply follow someone else’s regimen, not theirs. Such thinking, however, is far from the truth.
Unlike other physical ailments, there is no single solution to each mental health problem. Every client’s background and personality have to be taken into consideration before the right steps can be made. This is why it is important that both the client and therapist are able to work well with one another.
The brokenness of life affects everyone, including children. But since children’s brains aren’t fully developed, sometimes we struggle to help them cope with difficulty or trauma. If you have a toolbox of techniques and activities for children, you can consider which one(s) might help an individual child in their situation.
What is one thing you would like to teach someone else?
Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted, like you just want to check out of life?
People may use the term “OCD” in an almost light-hearted manner to justify behaviors or rules which they themselves practice. But for anyone diagnosed with real Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), there is nothing light-hearted about their struggles. For them, the condition often brings distress and places limits on their every day lives to varying degrees.
The obsessions and compulsions are often connected, such as germophobia and washing one’s hands. Or, a student is so afraid of failing that he or she keeps on checking and checking his or her test answers even to the point of missing recess or lunch.
Teach your child to recognize their obsessions and compulsions. Knowledge is a power.
By reading this article you’re taking the first step in what can be a journey of healing and hope. We’ll discuss different types of family counselors, how to select one who’s right for you, and how to budget for counseling. Take the time to consider each point in the selection process, and you’ll be equipped to make an informed decision.
Behavior intervention applies to children who are struggling with problem behaviors, or to adults who are behaving inappropriately either in public or at home. In the family therapy setting, parents and the child will work with the counselor to identify unacceptable behaviors, set boundaries, and create rewards systems, along with other helpful skills.
Children going through puberty or experiencing life stress or mental health issues may struggle to have a good relationship with their parents. They may exhibit disrespect and dislike. Parents also deal with life stressors, mental health issues, and other factors that can make positive parenting difficult.
First, consider the value you place on therapy and the perspective that it can preventative medicine for your family relationships. Yes, therapy is expensive, but as counselors, we truly believe it’s worth it.
In addition, children may be able to exert more control over their behavior in some kinds of circumstances rather than in others, particularly when emotions are running high. While parents find this understandably exasperating, it is normal.
There may be various explanations for why a child steals. It may be that the act of stealing is exhilarating to a child, or perhaps because it enables them to somehow feel in control. It is important to question a child’s motivation to get to the bottom of the behavior.
The child may have an active imagination and find it hard to stay present, getting lost in their imaginings. If ADHD is the cause of the problem of ignoring others, it is possible for children to be taught ways of managing their difficulties with concentration.
It is important to uncover the underlying reasons why a child feels the need to use substances – for example, is it as a means of coping? Or is it because of peer pressure from friends?
Your son or daughter might be struggling with serious teen issues such as depression, anxiety, or bullying, and you want to know how you can support them through this time.
Also, teenagers, themselves, are constantly changing, as secondary sex characteristics appear and growth spurts take place. They may seem obsessed with their appearances, but they’re exploring uncharted territory. This is the root of adolescence; it’s self-discovery of one’s internal, external, and social realities.
These issues exist for girls too, and often there’s an even smaller margin for error. High school is an unforgiving social crucible where kids manifest their own insecurities as they bully others and tear each other down. And this bullying can follow everyone around on social media. Before the days of the Internet, you could get away from your bully by going home. Now your bully is always with you.
The more consistent you are, the stronger your relationship will be, and the more your child will rely on you. This means that when they have a problem, they’ll be more likely to bring it to you rather than to someone less dependable.
Parents who think they’ve made a reasonable request might not know how to react when their children respond in anger.
It’s important to remind yourself that your child is the only one who possesses the ability to change his or her behavior.
We introduced this topic in our discussion on reflective listening. Acknowledging a child’s feelings means you verbally reflect what you think their current thoughts and emotions are. Pay attention to facial expressions, body language, and both verbal and nonverbal cues.
“You may choose to hit your pillow or you may choose to hit a beanbag.”
Simply put, there is no one right path of grief, and you should never feel under pressure to conform to one particular way. David Kessler, an expert on grief, writes that the stages of grief “are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling.”
Grief is a process and should be viewed in the long-term. Too often, we look for a “quick fix” or the ability to rush through the prescribed “stages of grief,” failing to give ourselves ample time. It is important to note, however, that even with all the time in the world, the pain may never fully leave you.
In his book, A Grief Observed, Lewis wrote: “He will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones, and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off.”
Though it may seem counterintuitive, anger may at times be helpful because it helps us release our emotions, instead of merely turning numb. Though the anger may be directed at any number of different things, it is always rooted in pain.
Unfortunately, they aren’t immune to anxiety. They enter this big, scary world and face many mountains of their own. Think about moving towns, changing schools or even having to participate in a spelling bee when there’s a learning or attention issue. Anxiety can be crippling at any age.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel helpless when your child is facing anxiety, but when you remain steadfast and calm you can be fully present to guide your child through their everyday anxiety.
Help your child understand how the body changes when experiencing fear and anxiety, so he can begin to recognize the signs. Teach your child to talk back to their worries and fears. Imagine worry as a big bully or monster that can be conquered by telling why it isn’t welcome in your world.
Instead, you can think of it this way, “The bus driver is a professional and cares about the kids. My classmates show up every day to school without getting left somewhere else. My good friend Robby would sit with me if I asked him. My classmates even talk about how much fun it is to ride a bus.” The thoughts slowly shift to ones of excitement and confidence.