Overcoming Fear of Mortality and Finding Peace

There are moments in life when we are reminded of the reality that the Lord speaks of in Genesis – “…dust you are, and to dust you will return” (Genesis 3:19, NIV). Life is precious and fragile, and having that awareness can help us appreciate it more, not only for ourselves but also for others. Carrying a genuine appreciation for life can help us not only be grateful for every breath but also see things from a better perspective.

Most things are good in moderation, but unhelpful when overdone. The awareness of how fragile life is can spill over into a fear of death, with different results for how a person approaches their daily activities and tasks. The fear of our mortality can be a challenging anxiety that can disrupt daily living and trap you in unfruitfulness. It is possible to overcome this fear and find peace.

Understanding the Fear of Mortality

It’s important to get this out of the way – you are going to die someday. That day is unknown to us, but the Lord, who knows the end from the beginning, knows every page written in our book (Psalm 139:16). The fact that you and I have an end can be an overwhelming reality, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s an occasion to trust in the goodness of God, who manages our times and our lives. It doesn’t have to overtake us like a looming shadow.

The fear of mortality is also known as ‘thanatophobia’, or the fear of death. This fear or anxiety is rooted in a keen awareness of the fact that life will inevitably end, and that awareness can range from subtle to a blaring and ever-present reality that intrudes into everyday life. It can linger in the quiet moments as you reflect on your day, or it can manifest as severe panic attacks or obsessive behaviors designed to help avoid thoughts of death.

The fear of mortality can become an overwhelming sense of dread that can disrupt a person’s ability to work, go to school, or have healthy relationships with others. It can lead to ongoing anxieties about one’s health or the health of loved ones, which can be stressful as well as challenging for others to cope with.

The Causes of Fear of Mortality

Why do people fear their mortality? There’s a real sense in which it’s good for us to be aware of our mortality. That primal instinct to stay alive can help you remain alert as you cross the street or drive home from work. In small doses, it’s helpful, but it can become debilitating if it’s given its head.

People fear their mortality for several reasons, including a fear of the unknown. Being uncertain of what happens after death is unsettling, and fear can creep in to fill the gaps in our knowledge, making the unknown a terrifying prospect. Additionally, because death is something that’s ultimately beyond our control, it challenges our need for safety and for predictable things. We fear death because it’s beyond our power to contain or control it.

We also develop a fear of mortality precisely because we have strong emotional ties to loved ones, and we fear being separated from them. When we face life and all it has to offer, reflecting on our lives, their purpose, and meaning, can also trigger a deep existential anxiety about our limitations amid the vastness of space and time.

The reasons that a person develops a fear of mortality include the following:

Personal experiences As a person ages, they become more aware that our life under the sun isn’t forever; it is impermanent. Experiencing the death or serious illness of a loved one or having a near-death encounter can all trigger fears about mortality and our limitations. Experiences of trauma, abuse, or neglect can also contribute to fears about mortality.

Societal and cultural factors Our culture is one that often keeps unpleasant topics like aging, sickness, and death at the back of our minds, and out of sight. While we’re inundated with violent or graphic content in our media and entertainment that almost glorifies death, serious reflections about it that are somber and reflective are often lacking. Our societal and cultural norms about death shape us, and they can lead to a deficient view of death that’s unhelpful.

Spiritual and other beliefs Just as our culture and society shape our beliefs about death, your spiritual beliefs also influence your fear of mortality. Fear of judgment, for instance, can make death feel frightening. Having questions about the meaning and aim of life can also leave a person feeling anxious about what it all means and where it’s all going. Having robust, gracious, and meaningful answers can be a counter to such fears.

Mental health A person’s overall mental health can contribute to fears about mortality. For instance, if you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, you’re more likely to fear your limitations and mortality than not. The fears can become magnified, even when they aren’t justified or rational.

These and other reasons and factors can interact with each other to produce a fear of mortality that manifests in different ways in people’s lives.

How Fear of Mortality Affects a Person

When a person is afraid of death, that fear can impact their life in various ways. While it can increase their appreciation of their lives and the lives of their loved ones and reprioritizing things, it can easily become something else. It can result in avoidance behaviors, for instance. This could include avoiding certain places or situations that arouse the fear, including talking about death, going to a funeral, or visiting a loved one in a hospital.

For others, it can result in being risk-averse. Some people take excessive caution, not wanting to risk that something might happen. Trying new things might also get taken off the menu, as that could be too risky. They might become preoccupied with health to address any and all issues, leading to constantly monitoring every health indicator and seeking medical attention for minor concerns.

The awareness of mortality can bring about an existential dread that can be difficult to push through to allow a person to function well in daily life. Having persistent thoughts and worries about death can be a heavy weight to bear, and all this can make forming and maintaining healthy relationships difficult. Being intimate and maintaining a strong emotional connection with loved ones can become harder, straining relationships.

Fear of mortality can be positive, helping you appreciate life and your loved ones. It can help you reevaluate your priorities for the better, helping you make changes to align your life with what matters most. However, as shown above, it can also affect your life in other negative ways, hindering your daily functioning.

Overcoming a Fear of Death

A fear of mortality can be highly disruptive to your life, preventing you from doing the business of living and enjoying all that the Lord has provided us with. The teacher in the book of Ecclesiastes says the following:

Remember him – before the silver cord is severed, and the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, and the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it – Ecclesiastes 12:6-7, NIV

The phrase ‘Remembering the Lord’ is full of rich meaning, but it entails reflecting on who God is, the nature of the world He created, and the role we have in it. Death is an enemy, an intruder into God’s good creation, but Jesus defeated death on the cross, and He rose again to new life. That resurrection is a ‘first fruits’, a glimpse into what the future holds for all who believe in Him, and also for the creation (1 Corinthians 15, Romans 8).

Remembering the Lord can help us begin reframing our understanding of death, but also what life is about. Using a holistic approach that combines biblical and Christian resources along with professional therapeutic tools, it’s possible to address the fear of mortality. Some of these tools include:

Reassurance from Scripture Passages like 1 Corinthians 15, Romans 8, John 11-12, Revelation 21-22, Philippians 1:18-26, 1 Thessalonians 4, and 2 Corinthians 5 all help believers reframe their understanding of life and death. God is sovereign over death, and the resurrection of Jesus changes absolutely everything. There is hope, even when it all seems dark and lifeless.

Prayer The Lord invites us to pray, to cast our anxieties on Him, and to trust that He can give us the peace we need. Instead of worrying, pray, turning your worries into requests and asking Him for His peace, which transcends understanding (Philippians 4:6-7; John 16:33).

Seeking help Professional help can be beneficial for identifying the source of fear. Through techniques like exposure therapy, it’s possible to become desensitized to the fear, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you to identify and reframe irrational thoughts about death. It’s possible to face your fear, living courageously and with deep peace. Reach out for help from a Christian counselor to find comfort and wisdom in dealing with your fear.