What You Can Expect from Christian Premarital Counseling in California

The lead-up to a wedding is typically abuzz with excitement. A lot is going on at that time, including choosing venues, making decisions on color schemes and caterers, finalizing the budget and guest list, discussing whether to have live music or a DJ, and more.

As you and your intended make decisions about every facet of your wedding, the pressure can lead to an unintentional neglect of your relationship. One of the things a couple can do before and during this period of wedding preparations is attend Christian premarital counseling in California.

What is Christian premarital counseling for?

There are several unhelpful myths out there about premarital counseling, Christian or otherwise. Some believe that premarital counseling is the sort of thing that you do when you find your relationship riddled with problems, and you need to right the ship before you set sail, so to speak. Others believe that premarital counseling is only for religious people or if you want to get married in a church.

Christian premarital counseling isn’t a form of couples counseling reserved for floundering couples. Often, couples will seek counseling at a point in their relationship when they are at odds or facing a crisis. When couples seek counseling at this point, they may take a defensive posture against one another, making it harder to communicate their needs effectively as well as make meaningful progress toward resolving the issue.

Premarital counseling strengthens a relationship as part of the marriage preparation. Instead of waiting for the relationship to become strained before seeking help, premarital counseling helps a couple prepare for any serious issues before they arise in marriage. Premarital counseling helps a couple map out their future together.

A couple can use the wind in their sails as they head toward marriage to strengthen and deepen their relationship before they officially take that next step. Premarital counseling is thus not for religious folks only, or for couples going through a tough time. Rather, premarital counseling is a form of relational self-care, something a couple does in advance of any issues, but also during a tough season, too, if they choose.

Christian premarital counseling helps the couple talk about important issues that might become points of conflict later on. Talking about issues as diverse as money, parenting, infidelity, and roles in your future home helps you get on the same page, and premarital counseling equips you to work through these issues successfully.

How Christian Premarital Counseling Works

Christian premarital counseling sessions will vary depending on your counselor and the therapeutic technique they choose to use. However, there are some broad similarities in how premarital counseling works. To begin with, the initial sessions with your counselor will be for them to get to know you both so that they can identify your weaknesses, strengths, areas of potential conflict, as well as the ways you’re compatible.

During your sessions, you’ll share your life experiences, and your counselor will also observe your relationship dynamics. By sharing the life experiences that are significant to you both and that have shaped who you are and the expectations you carry into your relationship, you’ll gain deeper insight into your motivations and patterns in the relationship.

Premarital counseling in California also entails having conversations about important issues and questions that impact most marriages. Your counselor will lead you as you discuss topics such as how you and your partner plan to spend time together; how your finances will work; your beliefs and values (and how to handle these with respect and understanding); children and parenting, including whether you both want children, and how you’ll raise them.

Through your counseling sessions, the goal is to gain deeper insight into your future spouse, develop better communication skills, and shore up your strengths as a couple while getting on a growth trajectory in your areas of weakness.

What To Expect From Christian Premarital Counseling In California

In Christian premarital counseling in California, a counselor works with the couple or individual partners to pinpoint concerns, weaknesses, and strengths in the relationship. The partners can speak about their expectations and goals for the relationship, as well as identify steps taken to meet these goals and various challenges. As with other forms of premarital counseling, Christian premarital counseling helps couples better deal with conflict.

In addition to this, Christian premarital counseling in California will specifically offer couples a Christian understanding of marriage. Couples may understand marriage in a way that isn’t rooted in who Christ is and the ethos believers ought to live out in their marriage. Christian premarital counseling will also help couples understand how to use resources such as Scripture, prayer, and community in strengthening their marriage.

Christian premarital counseling may be challenging for several reasons. For one thing, because difficult and sensitive subjects will come up during the sessions, this may be a cause for anxiety or fear. These topics for discussion may highlight differences of opinion, and these differences may not be easily resolved. The couple may choose not to marry because of these differences, but they should discover this sooner rather than later.

Counseling provides the couple with a safe space to talk about difficult and sensitive topics, and some of these may stir painful thoughts and memories. For the couple to get the most out of it, it’s important to be truthful about their fears, doubts, goals, and expectations. It’s better to face these head-on, even though that might be hard in the short term. With the help of a licensed and trained counselor, the couple can work through this together.

There are many benefits of Christian premarital counseling in California. Your counseling sessions will equip you and your partner to handle the many slings and arrows that married life might direct your way. Faith-based pre-marriage therapy helps you to prepare to live a life together, and it helps you to face marriage with your partner realistically.

Benefits of Christian Premarital Counseling

It helps you view yourselves and your future life together realistically This allows you to plan for your future and set goals that will allow your marriage to flourish.

It will help you understand each other better By talking about what you believe, cherish, hope for, expect, and fear, you’re better placed to understand each other.

It will help improve your communication A healthy relationship requires good communication. Premarital counseling provides space for a couple to develop a working vocabulary so they can express complicated emotions, as well as share their opinions effectively without harming or shaming each other.

Address fears about marriage Premarital counseling takes a realistic look at what married life is like, and it can help to relieve anxieties about the future by taking a realistic look at what marriage will entail. Through premarital counseling, a couple will gain greater clarity about what marriage will be like.

Nurture skills regarding conflict resolution Some of the skills premarital counseling imparts include conflict resolution and proper handling of differences. Your counselor will teach you how to resolve problems respectfully and through constructive conversations.

Setting goals Premarital counseling helps a couple to start planning their life together and create a blueprint for their relationship. As the couple makes plans for their future, they can also learn how they make decisions and start setting patterns for how to handle their future life together.

Nurture mutual appreciation The process of premarital counseling helps you to gain a deeper appreciation of your strengths as an individual, as well as the positive aspects you possess as a couple. Seeing these things about yourself and each other helps you to develop a deeper sense of appreciation for one another.

Identify and unlearn dysfunctional patterns of behavior Another benefit of Christian premarital counseling is to identify dysfunction in how you think and behave. It goes beyond that by helping you both make use of gospel-rooted resources that can empower you to change and adopt healthy patterns.

Christian premarital counseling thus has many benefits, chiefly preparing you to have a healthy marriage with the right partner.

Next Steps

Christian premarital counseling in California aims to proactively identify and address any potential areas of conflict in a relationship before these become serious concerns. Through counseling, the spouses learn constructive and effective strategies for raising and resolving concerns without entering into prolonged conflict.

If you or your loved one is contemplating marriage, reach out to us at California Christian Counseling and schedule an appointment to speak with a Christian couples counselor in California to help you establish a strong foundation.